I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
