I have demons in me.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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