you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
