She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
