Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
