you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
