well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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