toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
