I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
