I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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