In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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