As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
