I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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