your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
