SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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