youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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