so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
