Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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