For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
