Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
