I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
