when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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