I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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