I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
