Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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