Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
