Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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