Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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