3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
