Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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