i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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