So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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