if i can run in heels then i can drive
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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She bit a glass in half.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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