I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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