so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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