I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I want to have your abortion
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
