she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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