Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
