Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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