Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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