sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
