Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
