i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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