that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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