He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
