She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
