he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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