The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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