My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
