I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
