so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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