Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize