Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
