I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
