I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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