When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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