Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
