Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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