Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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