Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
