Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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