first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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