Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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